Soul on Fire

{ Aaron Jasinski }
A few days ago, Dad said to me, "You're getting away from your natural self, Felish" and then went onto tell me about how when I was little I would write, and draw, and create for hours. My dad and I don't have the greatest relationship, but at times, he says something like this and strikes a cord so deep inside of me that I realize just how much he truly knows...and loves me.

I think my sadness has been evident lately. More and more I realize that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing with my life, and I want to curse my younger self for not having the courage to branch out into my creative passions. I know that I'm still young, and that I can pave a way to that life that I want so badly now...it is just so much harder to do that while raising two kids. I think about the year and a half that I spent at the Court Reporting Institute and realize that it was a wasted effort, because that is not what I want to do. I know I could be good at it, but at what price? I need to be doing something that sets me on fire.

I read an article a few weeks ago about Suzan Lakhan Baptiste, or as the Trinidad locals call her the "Crazy Turtle Woman". It talks about her persistence to turn what was once a Leatherback turtle massacre site into one of the biggest turtle nesting grounds in the world. I was inspired by not only her bravery, but her passion for the work that she did, passion that others around her thought she was crazy for.

"'When I got started, a lot of people thought I was crazy,' Baptiste said, and she admits that she sometimes wondered if they were right. Reflecting on what she and her team have accomplished, she now believes it was worth it.

'I love being crazy, you know?' she said, laughing. 'Crazy with a passion, crazy with a dream...'

I want to be crazy with a passion. I want my soul to set on fire with what I do for a living. The question now is: how do I get from here to there?