The Devil, an angel, and ghosts...

Days like yesterday, I realize how fucked up it is and how bitter we are towards each other. Sparring partners, that's what my dad and I are. I don't know how to have a conversation with the man and I'm not sure that I even want to. There are layers of resentment on both sides...it's because we both hold grudges and don't know how to let go of the past. I locked myself in the bathroom at work and had a good cry.

In the midst of this semi-breakdown, I don't know why I suddenly started thinking about that day two years ago when I traveled all over Dallas to three different hospitals trying to get someone to see Maya. In the parking lot at Medical City, I met a man and to this day, I truly believe he was the devil, and I'm not religious like that. But I remember his hateful black eyes, the sneer on his face...his cruel words that he spit at me and my daughter. I was in so much shock I couldn't even say anything, I just held Maya close to me and slowly backed away from him. I was too upset for words or thoughts, and once I was inside the building, I walked around in a daze. Then, an elderly woman came up to me and smiled when she saw Maya. "She's so beautiful," she said, and almost at once I burst into tears. She didn't look at me as if I were crazy. Instead, she seemed to understand and simply wrapped her arms around me as if she knew me. She whispered kind words into my ear, held, and prayed with me. I knew she was an angel.

Yesterday after crying in the bathroom, I went back to my desk and an older man that I work with came around the corner. He immediately asked me what was wrong. I felt my face crumple and hot tears trickle down. He immediately hugged me and said, "Baby, whatever it is, it's going to be okay..." I knew God sent him around that corner like He sent that woman to me that day at the hospital. Sometimes a hug and kind words have the power to make the ghosts fade away into the background and stop the old wounds from hurting, even if it's only temporarily.